One more child?

Diane and I are actually thinking of having another child. We only have 4 after all. That’s nothing! In our grandparents’ generation they had from 6 to 12. We could just about slip one in — so to speak — before the biological clock ticks its last tock.

It was never really clear to me why we ended up having such a lot of children. OK, I know the biology involved, but not quite the psychology. Perhaps we tried to recreate a bustling family-life in a country — England and now Taiwan — where we have no other relatives? Perhaps it was a way to avoid having to go to parties, to the movies, and in general to have a social life? Perhaps there is some deep existential motivation. For a long time it seemed we had another child whenever someone in our family died. Conception was our sweaty and heart-pounding protest against the human condition.

Still, five does seem like a lot. The question is of course how to weight the pros against the cons.

pros:

  • one more child is one more person to love, to care for, hang out with, get to know. Our family matters more to us any anything. The more the merrier.
  • it would be one more friend for the other kids to play with, give piggyback rides to and teach naughty words.
  • the kid would be born in Taiwan and learn to speak properly from day one.

cons:

  • we’ll be too old when the kid turns 20. In fact, we’ll be too old when the kid turns 5.
  • children cost money and we both have academic salaries. We can’t afford it. Then again, we couldn’t afford the first one either.
  • it might turn out to be a boy. Boys have weird habits and tiny weenies between their legs. Disgusting!
  • what if he/she is stupid, ugly and generally unpleasant? How would he/she ever fit in with the other kids?

 

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