A good spanking

My kids just did their final exams. They like exams in Taiwan. And if Taiwanese kids do badly they get punished. Saga tells me “nearly everyone” in her class gets spanked if their results are under 95 percent. Anything to get into those Ivy League schools! The teachers used to spank the kids too, but at least in our school that’s no longer practiced.

My TA firmly believes that my students would work harder if I punished them. That’s just a little bit weird, no? I’m really uncomfortable with corporal punishment. I also don’t believe in mixing pedagogy with sexual excitement — even if some students ask for it.

Considering how much they love hurting each other in school, Taiwanese sex life — well, what I’ve noticed of it — seems surprisingly wholesome. Not much prostitution and little by means of “red light” activities of any kind. There are some sex shops to be sure but they mainly seem to sell lingerie. Few signs of any spanking implements.

My social science theory is as follows: spanking is only translated into an adult sexual fetish in strongly hierarchical societies. This surely explains the English fascination with S & M. Judging by the little cards attached to London phoneboxes, the English spend more time on spanking than on traditional penetrative sex. Clearly they find hurting each other’s bottoms more fun. It also fits far better with the general nature of their social relations.

Universities are of course strongly hierarchical too and spanking is the fetish of choice of many professors. The most famous case at the LSE was the great conservative icon, Michael Oakeshott. The man loved horses and apparently he loved the sound of the whip. According to a living LSE legend, stacks of spanking mags were carried away from his office after he retired. You don’t have to be a conservative to be a sadist, but it probably helps.