Trailer Park Investments, Inc.

The US economy is doing badly, and worse seems to be around the corner. People with money are moving elsewhere. If interest rates hit 1 % in a year’s time, and the dollar drops against major currencies, investing in the US is stupid.

This is true unless you invest in the kinds of things that people demand during a recession. You could buy a used-car dealership, for example. Or a pop-tart business, or even shares in Wal-Mart (if you can live with yourself — Costco would be much better, they allow trade unions).

The problem with this kind of investing is only that rich people know very little about the kinds of goods poor people require. Rich people think about poverty in the abstract, not in the excruciating detail required to make a profit. To help them out an entrepreneurial poor person should start an investment consultancy firm. Poverty, after all, is something poor people know a lot about. Let’s hear it for Trailer Park Investments, Inc!

I’m telling Diane she should go for it. With years of in-depth knowledge accumulated in mobile homes all across Long Island, she’s ahead of the game. She points out, for example — go for it, it’s easy money! — that you should invest in companies that rent out storage space. That’s always what happens when the bailiff arrives — you’re chucked out on the street and you have to find somewhere to put your belongings. What rich person would have thought of that?

Trailer Park Investments, Inc.

The US economy is doing badly, and worse seems to be around the corner. People with money are moving elsewhere. If interest rates hit 1 % in a year’s time, and the dollar drops against major currencies, investing in the US is stupid.

This is true unless you invest in the kinds of things that people demand during a recession. You could buy a used-car dealership, for example. Or a pop-tart business, or even shares in Wal-Mart (if you can live with yourself — Costco would be much better, they allow trade unions).

The problem with this kind of investing is only that rich people know very little about the kinds of goods poor people require. Rich people think about poverty in the abstract, not in the excruciating detail required to make a profit. To help them out an entrepreneurial poor person should start an investment consultancy firm. Poverty, after all, is something poor people know a lot about. Let’s hear it for Trailer Park Investments, Inc!

I’m telling Diane she should go for it. With years of in-depth knowledge accumulated in mobile homes all across Long Island, she’s ahead of the game. She points out, for example — go for it, it’s easy money! — that you should invest in companies that rent out storage space. That’s always what happens when the bailiff arrives — you’re chucked out on the street and you have to find somewhere to put your belongings. What rich person would have thought of that?