Eurovision

The Eurovision Song Contest just took place in Belgrade.  Some 45 countries are competing — it’s all about hair, heels, muscles, dresses, and yes, songs.  The competition is watched by hundreds of millions of people across Europe, but gay men and pre-teen girls are the only ones who admit to actually loving it.  I have 4 pre-teen girls.  In our house we love the Eurovision Song Contest.

Britain came last again, and Brits are very upset.  Their theory is that various European countries help each other out with points.   The Poles vote for the Russians, the Russians for the Rumanians, the Rumanians for the Poles, etc.  There are two British misconceptions here: 1) that European countries are “friends” and all support each other; 2) that they all try to gang up on the British.  The Brits miss the obvious interpretation: their song was crap.

If you ask most Brits, they invented pop music in the 1960s.  Brit pop is real pop and everyone else’s pop is an inferior version of the real thing.  It’s just like football.  The Brits invented football too and although other countries pretend to kick balls around they can’t quite do it the British way.  According to this mind-set, victories in the Eurovision Song Contest, and victories in the Football World Cup, rightly belong to Britain and if someone else wins it must always be by foul means.

British football glory, like British pop glory, belongs to the 1960s.  It’s starting to be quite a long time ago.