back to the doctor

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I’m going back to the doctor again.  I have a strange lump on my neck, a swollen lymph node.  I look like a snake with a half-digested mouse half-way down the gullet.  The symptoms appeared right after my pneumonia in the spring and it’s most likely the result of an over-worked immune system.  Friday last week the doctor put a needle in my throat and took out three small samples that he’s been cultivating.  Yes, they are testing it for cancer too.  “Malignant tumors” and all that.  Of course I’m worried.

I had a lot of health issues this past half-year: a heart scare, pneumonia, and now this.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I felt more robust, stronger.  Maybe it’s living abroad in a strange, far-away, country that makes me feel so vulnerable.  Every slip of the feet feels like a fall; every little thing that goes wrong is a premonition of doom.

Yes, I’m being dramatic.  It runs in the family.  Swedes are more dramatic than people think.  I’ll keep you updated.

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