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primary site or metastasis?

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One of the big questions is whether the lymph node tumor is a primary cancer or a metastasis.  If it’s primary, this is where it’s originated.  Taking it away would also remove my cancer.  If it’s a metastasis it comes from somewhere else.  Even if this cancer is removed, there is more cancer that needs treatment.   Obvious a primary cancer is far better than a metastasis.

My sister Ebba emails me to say that cancers in the lymph nodes usually are a result of a metastasis.  I guess she’s been Googling.  I always try to avoid random information like that.  I convey the message to Diane and we cry some more.

Diane decides to counter-Google (I’m too scared to).  She digs up some information which says that a metastasis in the lymph nodes can be a disguised blessing.  Ovarian cancer in women, for example, have few symptoms and it is only when they move to the lymph node that they are discovered and successfully can be treated.  Maybe I’ll be a case like that.  Seizing on that possibility, we start fantasizing regarding fast cures and many more years together.

The tumor is bulging out on the neck under my right cheek.  I feel I could just dig into it with my nails and rip it out.

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