“I want to die,” I’m thinking.  Right at this moment.  With my wife beside me on the bed; with the kids playing.  A needle in my arm to make me dream and then quietly slip away.   I would be so, so happy.  My life would be complete.  It would be the happiest day of my life.

“Don’t go, baby!” Diane says.  “What about us?  Don’t be so selfish.  We need you around.”

“Of course,” I tell her.  “Of course.  I’m sorry.  I won’t think like that again.”