information is my friend

I’m off to the doctors in Taipei in a few hours.  I have a 3 o’clock PM appointment with a cancer doctor at National Taiwan University Hospital who is an expert on lymph nodes.  In Taiwan the top 1 % of students go to Med School, and the 1 % of them end up teaching at NTU hospital.  I couldn’t be better looked after.

I have to remember that more information is my best friend.  Even if the information is bad, it’s better to know than not to know.  It’s uncertainty more than anything that makes you worry.  This insight doesn’t come easily to me.  My instinct is always to hold my ears with my hands and repeat “I’m not listening, I’m not listening, I’m not listening” as loudly as I can.

But we can’t go on like this.  Since we still know next to nothing our thoughts are all over the place; torn by hopes, friendly encouragements, Google searches, and the terrifying feeling in the gut that I’ll never get out of this one alive.  Only information can put an end to this madness.


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