last week round-up
This is the summary of the last week of treatment. Believe it or not, right now even four days more seem like a long time. I’m planning to take a lot of morphine and just let the days happen.
Oct 6, Monday: I worry that Dr Ding is going to give me a feeding tube this afternoon. No, I don’t eat all that much, but I eat more than nothing. I have to take my shoes off when she weighs me, but she never checks my pockets. Maybe I’ll bring something heavy — coins? — to boost my weight.
Oct 6, Monday, evening: I escaped the feeding tube by one kilo. I’ve lost 9 since the beginning of the treatment, not 10. I’m very happy about that. Dr Ding gave me pills against the fibrosis in my neck. Should make it easier to move my head. Today’s radiation was hard. It rained and we got lost in the subway with the wheel-chair on the way back.
Oct 7, Tuesday: Still can’t talk, but at least I ate some in the morning. Diane wheeled me off to Taipei. The radiation hits really hard now. Afterward the interior of my mouth is swollen to the point where I can’t even drink water. It took until 10.30 in the evening before I could get some egg drop soup down.
Oct 8, Wednesday: I feel like I’ve been too close to a nuclear explosion.
Oct 9, Thursday, morning: This is the last day of the treatment, but I’m not in a celebratory mood. This morning I can’t move. I can’t talk. I can only force down one small cup of soup and half a glass of water. I know why it’s 33 radiation sessions and not 34 or 35 — because no one can stand any more. This is the limit of my endurance.
Oct 9, Thursday, evening: I’m back home again. It’s over. I’m done. No one is going to shoot a radiation gun at me again. I went to hell, but then I came back. I’ll write more tomorrow.