Back for test results

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I’m going back to TaiDa hospital today to get results of the tests I took last week.  I don’t understand why, but I’m really worried about it.  I have this premonition of disaster.  Perhaps it’s the lung X-ray I did — I really don’t want there to be anything wrong with my lungs.  Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m still not feeling normal.

But then again, premonitions don’t mean anything.  It’s just superstition.  The presumption is that I’m OK.  That the cancer is gone and I can go back to being a regular person.  Imagine if that happened!  What an incredible thing!  But I don’t dare to start hoping for that.  My premonitions of disaster protect me against having my hopes dashed.

But it is still the case that more information is my friend.  If there is a problem, I need to find out.  And they can deal with that too.  More radiation, more treatment.  But lets hope it doesn’t come to that.  Lets hope the cancer is behind me.

No, I’m not a tough guy.  I’m just a baby.  But at least I’m honest about it.

I’ll find out more later today.

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